Note from the editor...
It's taken well over a week for me to try and put together a G-rated summary, suitable for the website, of exactly what went on at Miss Bulldog 2013.
That's how long it has taken for me to try and forget the not-so-pretty visual images that were unfortunately embedded into my memory bank (and, thanks to Facebook for the reminders, forgetting these isn't as easy as it sounds).
10 days is how long it has taken me to be able to sit down and, consciously, actually want to try and recall some things that happened that night.
When trying so desperately to forget so much, trying to recall the ‘not so bad’ is quite a difficult task, but here we go…
IFWFC made a strong showing at Miss Bulldog 2013 with players Bridget Gilson and Kim Brooks introducing their inner male personas ‘Kimbo Slice’ and ‘Bridge N. Cider’ in the first ever Mr. Bulldog (the only two competitors).
It didn’t stop there for IFWFC with players boyfriends, fiancés and husbands (Lilla Berry, Rachael Toohey and Jacinda Roy respectively) putting on some fine acts to impress their leading ladies.
There’s no doubt there was some ‘Dutch Courage’ needed for the performers to have the balls (excuse the pun) to get up on stage, in front of a packed house and go for gold. However, and to be honest, there was also a need for the audience to consume a little with the questionable hair, make-up, dress sense and entertainment (including strip shows, lap dances and table strutting) that they had to bear witness to.
If 2013 was a test to see if a Mr. Bulldog competition could be a feasible option in the next couple of years, surely the efforts of Kimbo Slice and Bridge N. Cider left no doubt in the minds of club personnel.
In the categories of Formal, Swimwear and Fantasy, Kimbo Slice went from a Pimp, in a spectacular velvet suit with a pimp cane, to a Life Guard (with a bit more of a ‘blacker bulge’ than before!), to a Soldier, crawling down the length of the tables. No shame was had with taking people up on stage, getting up on the judges table, shaking the pelvic area and certain instruments being put in certain places.
Kimbo Slice’s three performances, each more risqué than the last, and leaving little to the imagination, was followed by youngster Bridge N. Cider who wowed the crowd with the combination of a dirty, dirty moustache and perhaps one of the greatest mullets you will ever see.
From a red shirt, ankle-freezer slacks, suspenders and bow tie in formal wear, Bridge N. Cider put on the boardies and grabbed a beer for the swimwear before dressing as a tradie in fantasy. Involving the crowd with fun antics throughout the three sets, the audience were quite perplexed with what they saw - the outfits, mo and mullet not quite matching the dances and performances on show, but, in a twisted kind of way, were left wanting more!
Whilst not officially being part of the night, other members of the IFWFC were trying to get in on the action, with many players helping out their friends in need by getting up on the table and “dancing” with them. Solly was keen to spread out on the table at one point, while Ma was up on stage performing, well… what it was we’re still not sure, and what we think it was we can’t quite say…
IFWFC runner Robbie was encouraging performers to get up and strut on the tables, was keen to slap some **s, and also use the pool table for purposes it isn’t intended to be used for.
Congratulations to Kimbo Slice, aka Kim Brooks, who was crowned Mr. Bulldog 2013 with her confident stage performance, some of which you needed to see to believe!
While Kimbo Slice was crowned Mr. Bulldog, it was Bridge N. Cider’s performances that had people talking, with many teammates not quite sure how the much shyer personality would go and couldn’t believe that she was actually going to take part in such a competition. But not only did Gilson take part, hiding behind another persona, she absolutely killed it and left all the disbelievers in awe.
Congratulations also to Black Beauty (Raj Roy) who was crowned Miss Bulldog 2013! Raj, husband of IFWFC player Jacinda Roy, is a massive supporter of the Women’s team, volunteers wherever he can and is often the in-demand water boy on Sunday’s at the Women’s games. Black Beauty was a side of Raj we had never seen before, getting into the role with some slick dance moves that put everyone else in the room to shame. Even with outfits of the black and pink swimwear and little maid costume, Black Beauty didn’t shy off the stage like many other performers, but instead chose to stay out for the whole length of each song!
It takes a brave person to get up on stage in any situation, let alone one where you are cross-dressing. There were many people in the room thanking their lucky stars they didn’t have to go up there and do it. So a big congratulations to all performers of the 2013 competition, you are all winners to us!
While there were too many nuts out for one evening, the raucous crowd thoroughly enjoyed themselves and can’t wait for the next Miss, or Mr., Bulldog Competition!
Some moments of the night can be relived here, with thanks to Peter Penfold running around on the night to capture it all on film. When uploaded to Facebook, Peter cleverly added some small smiley faces to cover up those bits that popped out.
Oh and just a tip to those ladies(?) of the night, as the saying goes “Wearing heels is not sexy if you walk like a newborn calf”… just in case you’re planning on donning the dress and heels again ;)
Last Modified on 10/06/2013 22:29